We all know the facebook feature “on this day”, when you take a walk down memory lane and then you go “what was I thinking back then?! The sane me now would never post something like that!” Well today i came across a memory but of a somehow different kind.
Four years ago i was wondering what if i had done something i wanted to do back then. Now looking back, here’s what i’ve learned.
First let me say, deciding not to do something gets you somewhere else. It’s a different road and when you’re a motivated person you can make any road lead to great places.
So when you ask “what if” it’s important to understand that this is your brain being curious, it’s not regret. (The only way that would be regret is if you are not happy where you are right now, but that’s a completely different thing).
It’s not so surprising that we all find ourselves at some point asking “what if”. We are curious beings. The idea of figuring out the unknown is so attractive to us, we always like to challenge our immagination and think of scenarios where we could’ve done something differently and how it would’ve changed our lives now.
Sadly, if we search deep inside we find that most, if not all of those situations that lead to that “what if” are mostly driven by fear.
Sometimes it’s fear of what people think of us, or not being good enough for something, or fear of rejection or even fear of the unknown.
My point of all this is to say that everytime you ask yourself “what if” you will get to a point where you might be disapponted with yourself because you know deep inside you were afraid of something.
So how do we deal with this?
- Eliminate future what ifs. Obviously you can’t do that entirely, your curious brain will always want to ask that question! But you can make sure they do not come from a place of fear. When you’re in the moment of taking a decision and you feel afraid of taking that decision, stop for a minute and think of how disappointed you will feel about yourself years from now when you look back. All because you were too afraid to take the risk. Yes your life maybe going great, you may be happy and satisfied, but do you really want to feel that slight disappointment? To hear that voice in your head?
- It’s not easy to understand what you’re fraid of. Most of the time we know what it is but we can’t admit it. So when you’re afraid of something you need to be honest with yourself and say what it is. How hard is that? It’s only you!
- Now the hard part is overcoming that fear. One way i learned that helps me a lot is to not think about the outcome and not to expect anything. Keep an open mind to all kind of results you will get from taking that road and develop a positive mindset to challenges. If you end up getting hurt from taking that risk, fair enough it will teach you a lesson but you will enjoy the ride. If however you don’t try you won’t know how amazing it would feel if the results were good. You would deprive yourself of that great moment that could shape your life differently.
So that’s what i learned from my experiences. Just take the risk and embrace the impact.
I know nobody is perfect and no matter how much we try there will be times where we will give in to our fears. If that happens and you get to a point where you’re disappointed that you didnt take that risk just think of it as the thing you needed to give you a push in the future.
Always remember fear is a feeling and you are the master of your body you decide wether your feelings should control you or the other way around.